We had a big day in our house yesterday - it was the day we took the pacifier away from Sweet P.
I'm pretty sure it was the hardest on me.
Sweet P has always been a good sleeper - even when she was a newborn. Great sleeper. When she started sucking her thumb I read over and over about breaking that habit and trying to get her on a pacifier. Why? They say a pacifier is easier to break than the thumb. I can see why. You can't really remove the thumb!
Anyway, in preparation of the new baby coming, we decided to break the pacifier habit.
Yesterday, she was so upset when I told her she was a big girl now and didn't need a pacifier. She was crying. I was crying. I mean really folks, she really, really likes that thing and it makes her so happy and sleep so well so did it have to go? I guess, even though I admit I contemplated going in there and giving her a new one on many occasions.
I didn't. Instead, I left her room and tried to escape the sounds of her cries. I just kept thinking about what I said moments ago. You're not a baby anymore.
Now, I haven't called her a baby since her first birthday but the realness that she isn't a baby anymore and here in about 5 months, a new baby will be here to take on that title hit me like a ton of bricks.
There's part of me that wants her to stay little just a little while longer. This 15 months with her has flown by and I can't imagine how fast time will move with another one. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones but this momma is E-MO-TION-AL. Don't get me wrong, I love watching her grow and it seems like every stage she hits is my favorite.
It's just hard to think that she won't be the only little thing getting my love and attention anymore. Which leads me to a whole slew of other thoughts running through my head:
What if I don't love our next child as much?
What if she feels slighted?
What if I treat Sweet P like my favorite and totally screw up the next kid?
What if I can't adjust to taking care of two little ones?
What if ...
Yes, folks, all that from a stupid pacifier. I told you I was a crazy pregnant lady.
Anyway, I know in my head that I'll love our next child so don't send me hate mail. It will be pretty awesome to see how a new one will change our lives but for now, I get to love on my big girl. By the way, she did great without her pacifier at night and only cried for 15 minutes today at nap time!