I'm pretty sure it was the hardest on me.
Sweet P has always been a good sleeper - even when she was a newborn. Great sleeper. When she started sucking her thumb I read over and over about breaking that habit and trying to get her on a pacifier. Why? They say a pacifier is easier to break than the thumb. I can see why. You can't really remove the thumb!
Anyway, in preparation of the new baby coming, we decided to break the pacifier habit.
Yesterday, she was so upset when I told her she was a big girl now and didn't need a pacifier. She was crying. I was crying. I mean really folks, she really, really likes that thing and it makes her so happy and sleep so well so did it have to go? I guess, even though I admit I contemplated going in there and giving her a new one on many occasions.
I didn't. Instead, I left her room and tried to escape the sounds of her cries. I just kept thinking about what I said moments ago. You're not a baby anymore.
Now, I haven't called her a baby since her first birthday but the realness that she isn't a baby anymore and here in about 5 months, a new baby will be here to take on that title hit me like a ton of bricks.
There's part of me that wants her to stay little just a little while longer. This 15 months with her has flown by and I can't imagine how fast time will move with another one. Blame it on the pregnancy hormones but this momma is E-MO-TION-AL. Don't get me wrong, I love watching her grow and it seems like every stage she hits is my favorite.
It's just hard to think that she won't be the only little thing getting my love and attention anymore. Which leads me to a whole slew of other thoughts running through my head:
What if I don't love our next child as much?
What if she feels slighted?
What if I treat Sweet P like my favorite and totally screw up the next kid?
What if I can't adjust to taking care of two little ones?
What if ...
Yes, folks, all that from a stupid pacifier. I told you I was a crazy pregnant lady.
Anyway, I know in my head that I'll love our next child so don't send me hate mail. It will be pretty awesome to see how a new one will change our lives but for now, I get to love on my big girl. By the way, she did great without her pacifier at night and only cried for 15 minutes today at nap time!
Victory!!
Way to stay strong! Hang in there! She is getting so big it's crazy!
ReplyDeleteIt usually takes a good 3 days to break a habit!! I have 3 kids and 2 of the 3 were the biggest binky babies ever!! They were 18 months old when the binkies got thrown away. And now my son Colton who is only 21 months calls other kids (even oilder then him) babies. Haha!
ReplyDeleteoh i can totally understand you, we were doing this pacifier thing in march, and it was the same crying - but I did it in another way, i gave her a bowl and she had to put all her pacifiers in it and then she brought it out to the dustbins, so it wasnt so hard, coz she threw them away
ReplyDeleteand coz of your hormons and lots of questions, I understand you too lol, baby number two will be coming in february *g*
Hugs Cornelia
Oh, I totally understand! I had ALL those thoughts/emotions when I was pregnant with #2. I'm sure you've been told that your heart will get bigger and you'll love them both, but it is hard to imagine before it actually happens.
ReplyDeletethanks for your honesty :) i can definitely say i've felt very similar emotions. i have a clear memory of rocking my oldest (then right around 15 mos) and feeling very sentimental about the last days of her being my only child... my youngest child... my baby girl. i think i even cried. it wasn't (like you said) that I didn't want the new baby or that i was *sad* exactly. it was just the change, i guess. a little sadness over losing what i already knew. her little sister was born when she was 16 months old. and, of course, i loved her to bits just like her older sister. i still called them both "baby" though. i really had TWO babies then :) actually, i still call them both baby... and their three younger brother & sisters, too :) five babies :)
ReplyDeleteblessings to you! and congratulations!!!!
yeah for her making it through her nap. you can do it.....you to mom. :)
ReplyDeleteShe'll definitely thank you later for taking away her pacifier at this age. I had mine until I was four- when my parents made me throw it into the ocean to say goodbye. I remember chasing after it, when I realized it would be gone forever. It was traumatic, and I still had to have braces for three years.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't know from experience, but my mom told me (I was baby number 2), that she couldn't imagine loving me as much as she loved my older brother. But then I was born, and her heart expanded. I'm sure yours will too.
Oh Lesley...
ReplyDeleteI´ve been on these shoes before and I know exactly what you are thinking and feeling. Pretty much normal (when we go from the 1st one to a bigger family). Weird, sad, crazy, worry, exciting... but normal!
You are doing soooooo great with Sweet P that I have no doubts you are gonna be a AWSOME mother of 2!
God bless you all!
Kisses and blessings.
Mirys
www.diariodos3mosqueteiros.blogspot.com
(from Brazil)